Yahoo Finance Pregnant Mom Sobs from 'Gender Disappointment' After Baby's Sex Reveal — Why She Posted Her Reaction (Exclusive)
Autumn Freeman demonstrated what "gender disappointment" looks like with a TikTok comparing her reactions during her first and second pregnancies
Autumn Freeman/TikTok
Autumn FreemanAutumn Freeman was hoping her second child would be a boy, and she didn't hide her disappointment when she learned she was having another daughter
The expecting mom shared a candid TikTok video comparing her excited "gender reveal" reaction during her first pregnancy and her recent dismayed response with baby No. 2
Freeman spoke to PEOPLE about why she posted the video, which now has 11 million views, and how she's responded to critics in her comments
Autumn Freeman wasn’t ashamed of her initial reaction when pink streamers flew instead of blue. In fact, she hopes other moms will own their experiences with "gender reveal" disappointment too.
The expecting mom opened up to her TikTok followers when she posted a video contrasting her responses to the "gender reveals" from her first and second pregnancies. Freeman got emotional on both occasions, but her feelings fell on opposite ends of the spectrum.
Prefacing the stitched clips — which now have over 494,000 likes and 11 million views on the app — Freeman wrote, “Trigger warning, one of these videos displays gender disappointment.”
In the first video, the Michigan-based TikToker laughed and jumped into her husband’s arms as they watched fuchsia confetti rain down from a popped balloon. “Oh my God, I’m so excited!” Freeman shrieked happily in the footage from 2021.
The latter half of the video showed the couple learning their now-2-year-old daughter, Violet, was getting a little sister. But when their festive poppers burst into pink again, the color left Freeman crestfallen.
Autumn Freeman/TikTok
“I’m actually sad,” she told her husband, Andy, who comforted his disappointed wife with a hug. “I wanted a boy,” she added with a sob into his shoulder.
“It’s okay. She’ll be just as beautiful as the rest,” Andy said before Freeman walked off camera.
Despite the initial let down, Freeman tells PEOPLE her dismay faded soon after the reveal, which they filmed last October. At the time, however, she had built up high hopes about welcoming another boy into the family. Freeman had bonded with her “bonus kid," 8-year-old stepson Grant, and was yearning to experience that side of motherhood with her own son. (Freeman is also stepmom to Andy’s 12-year-old daughter, Lily.)
“In my perfect world I'd have one boy and one girl,” Freeman says. “I actually wanted a boy with Violet, but it was my first one and I was just excited either way…Then with this one, we know it's our last baby.”
But as her due date nears, the professional hairstylist and travel agent only grows more and more excited about raising two daughters.
“I think I was bummed out for maybe a week, and then it went away,” she recalls to PEOPLE. “I just told myself the universe is giving me what I need and what I can handle…I'm just meant to be a girl mom.”
Freeman anticipated TikTok viewers having strong opinions about her gender disappointment, and she correctly guessed that those users would voice their thoughts and wouldn’t hold back.
“There's a bunch of haters in my comments that are like, ‘You don't even love this baby. You don't deserve this baby,’ ” she says. “That's not the case at all. It had nothing to do with how I feel about the baby or how much I love it or how much it's going to be loved. It was just a brief moment, and now it's gone. I'm ready for my girl.”
Despite the backlash, Freeman stands by her decision to share her experience online. The positive feedback, she says, helps her brave the hate.
“There [have] been so many positive people — maybe even more positive people than negative people — who are like, ‘I've gone through this and thank you so much for sharing it,’ ” Freeman tells PEOPLE. She even shared a follow-up TikTok to spotlight some of the most supportive responses. In the caption, Freeman wrote, “Ladies, you are not alone, and you don’t deserve to be shamed!”
Several commenters have raised their concerns about how Freeman’s second daughter will feel if she sees the video one day, but the viral mom isn’t worried. She believes the odds are slim, but if her baby grows up and encounters the clip, Freeman knows how she’ll frame the disappointment.
“I would tell her, ‘Yeah, you were the third girl. We thought that we wanted a boy and we found out you were a girl. For a brief moment, I was sad that I wasn't ever going to experience having a little boy, but now I have you and I know you and I love you and I wouldn't trade you for the world,’ ” Freeman says.
She adds, “When she's old enough to comprehend it and see it, I think it'll be an explainable thing.”
Plus, Freeman imagines her daughter might find comfort in her mom’s honesty the same way so many women on TikTok did.
“There's a good chance that when this baby gets pregnant, if they do someday, she could have those feelings,” the expecting girl mom explains. “I could be like, ‘Hey, I felt that way when I found out I was having a girl again, and then I couldn't love you more. This too shall pass. It's okay to feel this way.’ "
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