Advertisement
Canada markets open in 8 hours 37 minutes

  • S&P/TSX

    21,885.38
    +11.66 (+0.05%)
     

  • S&P 500

    5,048.42
    -23.21 (-0.46%)
     

  • DOW

    38,085.80
    -375.12 (-0.98%)
     

  • CAD/USD

    0.7324
    +0.0001 (+0.01%)
     

  • CRUDE OIL

    83.87
    +0.30 (+0.36%)
     

  • Bitcoin CAD

    87,795.59
    -22.88 (-0.03%)
     

  • CMC Crypto 200

    1,387.17
    +4.60 (+0.33%)
     

  • GOLD FUTURES

    2,347.00
    +4.50 (+0.19%)
     

  • RUSSELL 2000

    1,981.12
    -14.31 (-0.72%)
     

  • 10-Yr Bond

    4.7060
    +0.0540 (+1.16%)
     

  • NASDAQ futures

    17,771.25
    +203.75 (+1.16%)
     

  • VOLATILITY

    15.37
    -0.60 (-3.76%)
     

  • FTSE

    8,078.86
    +38.48 (+0.48%)
     

  • NIKKEI 225

    38,036.12
    +407.64 (+1.08%)
     

  • CAD/EUR

    0.6828
    +0.0007 (+0.10%)
     

The Most Notorious, Hilarious Twitter User In The Hamptons Is Back

Linette Lopez
Georgica Pond compound East Hampton
Georgica Pond compound East Hampton

Sotheby's

Last summer our hearts were broken when Joe Schwenk, aka @HamptonsBorn, the Hamptons handyman who tweets about the absurd requests he gets from his wealthy "citiot" clients, said he was moving to North Dakota.

Lucky for us, he's come back for the summer to make money and entertain the entire Internet with requests like this one:

Place clothes in the closet, music on & candles lit for when Mr.D enters his house for 1st time since design was approved for land 6 yrs ago

— Joe Schwenk (@HamptonsBorn) April 24, 2014

Some things have changed.

THINGS I NOTICED SINCE I LEFT: No one uses Blackberries——only iPhones in weirdly designed cases. 50% of my customers with Teslas sold them.

ADVERTISEMENT

— Joe Schwenk (@HamptonsBorn) April 6, 2014

But mostly they stay the same.

While I was fixing Ms.S's automatic shades she explained how happy she was with her new under the muscle boob job—over the muscle is out now

— Joe Schwenk (@HamptonsBorn) April 17, 2014

Don't forget the Easter Parade in Sag Harbor today. Followed by the tour of over $50 million homes built by indicted Wall Street executives.

— Joe Schwenk (@HamptonsBorn) April 19, 2014

Good to have you back, Joe.



More From Business Insider