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Colton Underwood Says Growing Up He Didn't Think It Was Possible to Have a Family as a Gay Man

·4 min read

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Colton Underwood is ready to fall in love and start a family.

The former Bachelor lead – who came out as gay in April – revealed in a recent interview that due to his conservative upbringing, he didn't think he could have a husband and kids.

"I do want to be in love. I still want the white picket fence," Underwood, 29, told Variety on Thursday. "The whole definition of traditional lifestyle that I thought growing up conservative meant, I can still have."

He continued, "I can still do all of the things that I thought were only possible in a straight relationship."

Jon Kopaloff/Getty Colton Underwood

RELATED: Former Bachelor Colton Underwood Says He Was 'Blackmailed' Before Coming Out as Gay

Underwood revealed that although he's "physically" been involved with men, he's searching for something more meaningful.

"I want a partner and a husband more than anything, and I want a family. I want kids, I want dogs, I want the whole nine yards, and I never knew that was possible until I came out and got to lean into my truth," he told Variety.

The former NFL player added, "I can, for the first time in my life, actually picture myself with a family — and my family looks a little different than when I pictured it four or five years ago, but it just makes me happy, even thinking about it."

Underwood came out as gay in a Good Morning America interview that aired on April 14. The former athlete noted that he's "the happiest and healthiest" he's ever been in his entire life.

RELATED: Cassie Randolph Addresses Ex Colton Underwood Coming Out as Gay: 'There's a Lot of Layers to It'

His last public relationship was with Cassie Randolph – a frontrunner during his Bachelor season in 2019. The former pair announced their split in May 2020.

Three months after they announced their breakup, Randolph, 26, filed for a restraining order against Underwood for allegedly harassing and stalking her. In November, Randolph requested the "domestic violence restraining orders against [Underwood] shall forthwith be dismissed with prejudice."

During Underwood's GMA interview he acknowledged the allegations of domestic violence and said he was "sorry for how things ended" between him and Randolph. "I messed up. I made a lot of bad choices," he added.

Randolph has not directly addressed his apology.

Paul Archuleta/Getty Cassie Randolph

RELATED: Newly Out Colton Underwood Apologizes to Cassie Randolph After Tumultuous Split: 'I Messed Up'

Randolph thanked followers for their support in a vlog posted on her YouTube channel last month.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm not going to be further discussing it or commenting on it for now," the reality TV alum said. "There's a lot of layers to it, and I just think the best thing for me at this time is to move forward and just focus on going forward."

Underwood addressed the alleged abuse in a Variety cover story published Wednesday, although he said he was limited in what he could say due to an agreement with Randolph.

"I did not physically touch or physically abuse Cassie in any way, shape or form," he told the outlet.

RELATED: Cassie Randolph Is Dating Musician Brighton Reinhardt: 'She's Really Happy,' Says Source

Underwood said he was in "a dark place" after Randolph broke up with him and he acted out of character.

"It's not who I am as a human being, and it's not how I carry myself," the former ABC lead said. "If there was anything I could do to take more ownership, I would."

He continued, "But also, out of respect to her, I don't want to get into the details. I want this interview to be the last time I address her, because it's not fair for her to have her name in articles every time I talk."

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"I'm sorry, and I want her to know that I hope she has the best, most beautiful life," Underwood said of Randolph.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.

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