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Chrissy Teigen Speaks Out After Past Online Bullying: 'I Was a Troll, Full Stop - I Am So Sorry'

·3 min read

Chrissy Teigen is apologizing and taking responsibility for her past online bullying.

In an essay penned for Medium on Monday, Teigen opened up about the "very humbling few weeks" she has faced following the aftermath of her controversial resurfaced tweets. Recently, the model came under fire for previously bullying multiple stars, including Courtney Stodden, Lindsay Lohan and Farrah Abraham, when they were younger.

"Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven't felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I've said in the past," Teigen, 35, wrote as she questioned her original motives for her past tweets.

Further down in the piece, she said that "there is simply no excuse for my past horrible tweets. My targets didn't deserve them. No one does." She continued: "Many of them needed empathy, kindness, understanding and support, not my meanness masquerading as a kind of casual, edgy humor. I was a troll, full stop. And I am so sorry."

RELATED: Chrissy Teigen Steps Away from Never Have I Ever Voiceover Role amid Bullying Controversy

Teigen said that she initially thought it made her "cool and relatable" to poke fun at celebrities on social media, noting that she believed she needed to "impress strangers to be accepted."

Reflecting on her past behavior, Teigen admitted that some of the things she said makes her "cringe" now.

"There's no justification for my behavior. I'm not a victim here. The subjects of your sympathy - and mine - should be those I put down," she wrote. "The truth is, I'm no longer the person who wrote those horrible things. I grew up, got therapy, got married, had kids, got more therapy, experienced loss and pain, got more therapy and experienced more life. AND GOT MORE THERAPY."

Rachel Murray/Getty Chrissy Teigen

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She continued, "Life has made me more empathetic. I'm more understanding of what motivates trolling - the instant gratification that you get from lashing out and clapping back, throwing rocks at someone you think is invincible because they're famous. Also, I know now how it feels to be on the receiving end of incredible vitriol. Believe me, the irony of this is not lost on me."

Teigen recalled how her husband, John Legend, has told her that their eldest child, 5-year-old daughter Luna, reminds him of his wife.

"Every day, I try to make sure she's all the best parts of me, all the things I aspire to be all the time, but fail at sometimes," the Cravings creator wrote about their little girl.

RELATED: Chrissy Teigen Apologizes to Courtney Stodden for Past Online Bullying: 'I Am Ashamed'

"And we preach kindness to her and [our son] Miles every chance we get," she continued. "Will they eventually realize there is some hypocrisy there? I certainly do. But I hope they recognize my evolution. My goal is to be so good that my kids will think this was all a fairy tale."

Listen below to our daily podcast PEOPLE Every Day for more on Chrissy Teigen's apology.

She concluded by saying that, "We are all more than our worst moments."

"I won't ask for your forgiveness, only your patience and tolerance. I ask that you allow me, as I promise to allow you, to own past mistakes and be given the opportunity to seek self improvement and change," said Teigen. "Phew. A lot, I know. Thanks for listening."

In the wake of Teigen's resurfaced tweets, she initially issued a public apology to Stodden, 26, on Twitter.

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