All White Everything: Peek Inside Gwyneth Paltrow’s $12.8M N.Y.C. Apartment

Gwyneth Paltrow invites you inside her N.Y.C. apartment — because she’s trying to unload it. (Photo: Getty Images)

Back in March, Gwyneth Paltrow and her (not quite) ex-husband, Chris Martin, listed their former New York City abode for $14.25 million. (The price was recently dropped to $12.8 million.) Technically, they also listed a second apartment in the same building as well for a modest $3.35 million, but that felt like more of an afterthought than anything else.

Welcome to Chez Paltrow, which boasts an entryway bigger than most N.Y.C. apartments. (Photo: Goop.com)

The A-list couple purchased the larger, nearly 4,000-square-foot unit back in 2007 for a mere $5.1 million. So why do they think it’s worth more than twice that now? The aspiring lifestyles mogul gave the entire space a Paltrow-style revamp — with the help of design dream team Roman and Williams — and the luxury pad as been Gwynified. (Yes, that’s a word now.) And the shrewd businesswoman is showing it off — in a “Home Tour” on Goop — in the hopes that someone will buy it and they can collect their $7.7 million profit.

After a brief introduction lamenting the bastardization of the word “artisanal,” the article says that GP’s offering is the true embodiment of the word.

“It floats above the cobblestone streets like a pale, dreamy cloud. Pastel silks, hand-embroidered wallpapers, and cool swaths of marble punctuate the space, which balances centuries-old techniques and antiques with a confident, breezy modernism,” says the description. If hand-embroidered wallpaper doesn’t do it for you though, not to worry — there is also hand-painted wallpaper in another room.

Be a swinger in your living room! The swing was made from an antique Indian door. (Photo: Goop.com)

Explaining why photos of the interior previously had been few and far between, the write-up cited the fact that “above all, it’s a family space.” Special features include a “gigantic bed in the master bedroom” — so big that “sheets had to be custom-made” (which, apparently, is a selling point), an interior porch-style swing fashioned from an antique Indian door (though you wouldn’t know it, because the whole thing is covered with giant pillows), and something called “fuzzy nap zones.” We aren’t sure what those are, but we definitely think those alone sound like they should add a few million dollars to the value.

You can whip up Goop recipes in this GP-approved kitchen. (Photo: Goop.com)

The accompanying pics showcase fluffy carpets, something called a Chesney’s fireplace, and feathery glass chandeliers, all done in a lavender-and-cream color palette that begs for fingerprints. The design team said it “worked carefully together on the palette and the textures to create the sense of refinement,” which we’re pretty sure is code for the fact that Apple and Moses can’t touch anything or sit anywhere, except maybe on that oversized bed.

Tea cups for when Paltrow has her famous friends — like Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, and Beyoncé — over for girl talk. (Photo: Goop.com)

We also couldn’t help but notice what appears to be a Marc Chagall drawing hanging out next to a vintage (i.e. hipster) record player and a cabinet full of glassware that looks like it has never been touched, though it seems unlikely any of those curiosities come with the home — but you can always negotiate.

You know Chris Martin gets the record player in the split. (Photo: Goop.com)

The kitchen is clearly another main focal point of the home, which Gwynnie has showcased in Vogue and shared with Meryl Streep (when Streep’s oven went on the skids on Thanksgiving in 2014). In unbridled awe of Paltrow’s cooking space, Vogue gushed, “The first thing I noticed was how beautiful and clean her kitchen is, all white and filled with enviable appliances, including a dedicated deep-fat fryer.“

Stop everything: Gwyneth Paltrow has a deep-fat fryer?!

If you’ve always wanted to see a Chesney’s fireplace, now is your chance. (Photo: Goop.com)

The Vogue story, which is from 2010, went on to note that Gwyneth is “a neat freak” — which is pretty obvious from the fact that she chose white as the main color for her entire pad — but it’s nice to know that she acknowledges her fastidious tendencies. It’s worth noting that for the Vogue shoot, Paltrow posed in an evening gown with an apron tied around her waist ,and a smattering of toys and kids’ shoes at her feet.

The evening gown attire for cooking we totally buy, but those toys were most definitely staged.

Hear Meryl Streep talk about borrowing Paltrow’s kitchen on Thanksgiving: