Is it cool to take pictures when you're working an event?

As thinking human beings, we know that picking our nose in public is the height of bad taste. Same goes for trying to take credit for a colleague’s work or having sex with the boss. They’re all bad form.

What happens, though, when you engage someone to provide a service at an event and the hired hand offers a bit more than you bargained for? Are there protocols in place that tell the bartender he shouldn’t sell his wife’s hors d'oeuvres at a private function? Should the cellist leave her Jell-O shooters at home? If you’re hired help, shouldn’t you know your boundaries?

Not always, it seems. A controversy is brewing over whether or not a deejay should be allowed to shoot and share photos of a Chesapeake Bay, MD wedding, when the bride and groom signed an exclusivity agreement with a wedding photographer. The photographer says no, but the deejay says he shared over 200 photos on Facebook as a gift to the couple. The deejay claims he was simply trying to market his company and not undermine the work of the photographer.

In America, we are free to share our images of the people we love. Thank God!... http://t.co/Zv2cMTOntu

— Ken Rochon (@AbsoluteMixer) September 5, 2015

So the question is,where do you draw the line when it comes to questions around professional etiquette? Should events encourage free-for-alls when it comes to entertainment and other services or should each contractor’s work be clearly defined and therefore restricted?

According to Joanne Blake, an Edmonton-based business etiquette guru and professional image trainer, technology has fostered a whole new set of headaches that challenge the old-fashioned proprieties of business. In people’s eagerness to debut material first, they often forget about values such as common courtesy.

“I was surprised that the deejay chose to upload all those photos without getting people’s permission,” she said. “

When it comes to social media people do things without thinking, whether or not their intention is to offend and overstep boundaries.”

The wedding photographer had a signed contract giving her exclusive status as the official photographer. Blake said in today’s climate you’re best to expect the unexpected so signing a contract is wise. Meet service providers either face-to-face or over the phone and express what you want and your expectations.

“Know your boundaries,” Blake said. “Because more and more of these situations are cropping up, you need to discuss what could possibly go wrong and have a conversation in advance to pre-empt any awkwardness.”

Ottawa etiquette expert Julie Blais Comeau believes many people are of the mind that the rules of etiquette are passé especially in today’s technological world.

“Etiquette evolves,” she said.

“Because we have the technology doesn’t mean we have the right to use it. We need to ask when it is appropriate and what the consequences are.”

In the not-too-distant future, Blais Comeau suspects the courts will tackle laws around social media and privacy. In the meantime, she recommends drawing up a contract that covers your expectations, including what you want with respect to social media. Don’t forget to be respectful, she adds, and get permission from people before publishing photos.

“I don’t think that’s appropriate,” she said. “If I take pictures and use them to market my business, this is where the lines get blurry between etiquette and ethics.”

When in doubt about the accepted rules of behaviour in civil society, Blake advises asking yourself three questions: is it caring?, is it courteous? and is it a measure of common sense?

“Etiquette rules centre on respect and consideration and empathy -- always thinking how I would feel if I was in their shoes,” she said.