When keeping up with the Joneses costs a fortune

Designer clothes, lavish birthday parties, tech toys and private tutors. Doting parents trying to keep up with the Joneses can end up spending shocking amounts of cash to keep their kids on the cutting edge.

Sure, a princess themed birthday party complete with spa treatments and manicures for your daughter's 20 friends sounds lovely, but it would probably come with a 5-digit price tag.

Here are some of the ways spending on your kids can strain your budget and how to avoid falling into the can't-say-no-to-my-child trap.

Wardrobe warning

If your Carrie Bradshaw in the making has high-end tastes, setting a budget could help limit expectations and keep you from wearing out your wallet. David Sparrow, senior editor of Parents Magazine, suggests setting an allowance at the beginning of the month. This can help your children learn to make smart spending decisions. “They can spend it all each month or they can save it all for something even bigger and even fancier that they really wanted,” Sparrow explains.

Party possibilities

Plan on splurging for your three-year-old's birthday bash? Maybe wait until they’re older when they’ll remember how mom and dad went the extra mile to make them feel special. And if you don’t want other parents passing judgment on the contents of your gift bags, consider a kids only party.

And remember, not every party has to have catering, extra seating and parking nightmares. Let your child invite over their core group of friends instead of the whole class.

Digital dilemmas

Kids see their parents constantly checking their smartphones, doodling with an iPad or plugging away on a laptop, and they want one, too. But Sparrow suggests holding off as long as you can. “You don’t want your child, at a young age, going places on the Internet without you being able to monitor it closely,” he says. “And you don’t want their attention span to be affected by constantly being on the phone.”

A study by the Pew Research Center found that teachers thought teens’ use of digital media helped them quickly and efficiently find information. However, 87% of the teachers polled said these technologies are creating an “easily distracted generation with short attention spans.”

Toy troubles

Having the latest and greatest toys can eat up a budget very quickly – and many times those must-have items end up collecting dust soon after they’re out of the box. Sparrow suggests asking grandparents to help out now and again – if they can afford to. They’ll love spoiling their grandchildren, and kids will love getting what they want. That’s a win-win. If that’s not a strategy you’re comfortable with, you can always ask you child to save their allowance for that special toy.

If you just don’t have the budget or think spending big on toys isn’t a smart move, there are plenty of strategies to save. Check out these seven ways to save on toys.

To tutor or not to tutor

“I think a lot of parents feel the pressure to tutor their children way before it’s even necessary,” says Sparrow. “I think the best thing to do is assess your child’s need for help.” If your child is keeping up with or staying ahead of the kids in their class, you might not need to invest in a tutor at a young age.

Private tutor prices vary depending on location, subject and what qualifications the tutor has. You can expect to pay anywhere from $15 to $75 per hour depending on your child’s needs.

If your child does need some extra help there are some options that don’t cost a fortune. Check to see if there are after school programs or libraries that offer tutoring.

Saving now could benefit you in the long run when costly college preparation classes could be a valuable investment. Sparrow says private tutoring for those courses can often cost thousands of dollars. “Remember, for all the money that you spend on your child, that’s less money that you have to put away for college — and that really should be your priority,” says Sparrow.