Yahoo Finance Ex-FBI hostage negotiator gives advice for getting a higher salary—and for Donald Trump
There is no tougher negotiation than a hostage situation—one wrong word and lives could be lost. Chris Voss, former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator, says the FBI’s techniques for such tense negotiations can also be used in getting a higher salary, dealing with children, and even running for president.
Few have had as much experience in hostage negotiations as Voss. He was involved in over 150 cases, including the DC sniper case back in 2002. In his new book, “Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As if Your Life Depended on It,” Voss lays out tactics developed by the FBI and applies them to everyday life.
The FBI changed its techniques after several bad experiences, according to Voss. “We used to try to just wear the other side out,” he said. “While that's not horrible, it's not anywhere near as good as it can be. And also your deals tend not to stick really well if you get there simply by wearing the other side out. So we just needed to step up our game a little bit and use what I call ‘tactical empathy.’ It's relationship building, just really understanding positives and negatives.”
Tactical empathy involves slightly different goals during any kind of bargaining. “Getting to ‘yes’” has been a mantra for negotiation consultants for decades. But according to Voss, “getting to ‘yes’” is more of a problem than a solution. Instead, the goal should be to get the counterparty to say, “That’s right.”
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“After you've completely summarized everything from their perspective, how they feel about it, and maybe in a way that enlightens them, and they say ‘that's right,’what they actually do is just confirm that they feel like you really understand them,” said Voss. “There's nothing that makes people want to cooperate more than being understood by you. So ‘that's right’ is really huge.”
Voss believes women are natural negotiators when it comes to the technique. “In my book
, there are more examples of breakthrough negotiations from women than there are from men,” he said. “So with this kind of negotiating approach—which is different; it's counterintuitive, it’s emotionally intelligence-based—I think women pick it up faster than men do.”
“The more women we have involved in every aspect of business, the smarter everybody gets,” Voss said added.
Voss also has a tough critique of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, who has been touting his skills as a negotiator and authored “The Art of The Deal” back in the late 1980s.
“His public negotiations have gotten him what he wanted,” Voss said, acknowledging Trump’s triumphs over his primary rivals. “Now, I wouldn't negotiate like that privately because if you negotiate like that privately, you make enemies and people want to pay you back. That's also a bit of a downside for what he's doing publicly, because a lot of people are now lining up against him.”
“Making enemies in your negotiation strategy tends to be a poor long-term strategy,” Voss added.
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