Dear Indian Brides, Please Stop Expecting Body Positive Attitudes From Designers

Designer Tarun Tahiliani recently faced backlash after one of his store employees at Ambawatta reportedly shamed Dr Tanaya Narendra, an influencer, for her size and failed to give her a satisfying shopping experience. While this one incident came to light, there are numerous others that go unnoticed. But as a bride, what can you do to avoid getting fat-shamed or shamed for any other part of your appearance? Certainly expecting basic courtesy from others is not the solution, so here we go.

Also Read: ‘Felt Unwelcome, Shamed’: Dr Tanaya on Her Experience at Tarun Tahiliani’s Store

Your big day is coming soon, and you can’t wait-- for all the family politics, the incessant spending on relatives who will end up judging you; and if that isn’t enough, they’ll also judge the food at the wedding (I’m looking at you fufaji, who’s busy complaining about how hard the rasgullas are whilst enjoying his fourth helping).

But wait, this is just while the wedding is on. The drama that goes on before the wedding is the one that’ll be the most humiliating. If you’re a bride that doesn’t fit in anything less than a size 8, why even bother? Don’t even consider wearing a low cut blouse, because in India, if skinny girls are judged for showing cleavage, imagine what it’s going to be like for you. Is that a sleeveless gown you’re picking out? Instant comes a flurry of remarks - 'Imagine how the photos will turn out!'

Throw out all ideas of a warm service from all bridal stores. You’re already a huge (no pun intended) inconvenience to them since all the clothes they designed for a very limited and restricted size of 36-24-36 will just go to waste on you. The least you can do is take their tips on what type of blouse makes you look thinner, and more in shape. Who cares about what outfit you actually like? Looking slim is a greater priority than looking happy.

So what if you spent lakhs on the designer lehenga? You’re still going to have the salesperson look down on you and show their utter bewilderment that someone is actually willing to marry you. Coming to the actual designer, think about all the work they put in to design this full-sleeved, back covered, non-cleavage showing, all-in-all hideous dress just to safely hide away all your curves. They even painstakingly went through different materials that would make you look slimmer. What’s more, they’re also going to put up a picture of you on their socials with a generic caption like “All shapes are beautiful” to promote how they cater to a “diverse” range of customers. I don’t see why you’re complaining.

Try calling them out for their discrimination and they will gaslight you into believing that “only certain kinds of outfits suit people of a certain size,” which frankly, sounds like a very lazy quote lifted off of Pinterest or Tumblr.

If at all you are a dark-skinned bride, brace yourself, we haven't even scratched the surface yet. Not just relatives, but random people and sometimes the closest friends you have will give you tips on what colours will compliment your dark skin (translation: what colours help camouflage your darkness), and how many times a day you should rub sandalwood vigorously on your body to lighten your skin colour. These are the very people keeping “Glow and Lovely” in business.

If you somehow manage to look pretty in your wedding dress, resist the urge to facepalm when a random aunty supposedly compliments you by saying, “Wow, you manage to look so beautiful DESPITE your skin colour!”

Seems unfair? Don't be surprised. It’s what will prepare you for a married life that is full of unfair compromises (not from your husband’s side).

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