L.A. designer Cliff Fong once told Elle Decor that "Ellen has moved more times than any person I know," and it's true, celebrity talk show host Ellen Degeneres and her wife, actress Portia De Rossi, have quite the penchant for fabulous properties, be they midcentury spreads by Hal Levitt, eight-cottage equestrian straggles that pique the interest of shelter mags, or midcentury homes so ideally situated, some have taken to calling it the "best house in L.A." As the comedian herself has admitted, "I can only change the furniture so much and I get bored. Then I need a new structure to work on." With all the rapid-fire buys, lists, flips, scrambles, and Beverly Hills takeovers, it's been hard to keep it all straight, so without further ado: below find a comprehensive timeline charting Degeneres' wheelings and dealings from 2005 on.
Oct. 2005 - After a year of dating Degeneres and De Rossi buy a 120-acre ranch together in Santa Ynez, Calif. De Rossi is a known equestrian aficionado—she even has a horse named Maeby, after the name of her character's daughter in Arrested Development—and this turns out to be one of a handful ranch estates the pair will buy.
Dec. 2005 - The pair lays down $2.8M on a secondary ranch in Santa Ynez, this time 20 acres (ish) on the festively titled Roundup Road.
Oct. 2006 - Shortly after listing their larger Santa Ynez ranch, the pair drops $15.75M on a breezy George Washington Smith-designed estate in Montecito, Calif.
Dec. 2006 - De Rossi and Degeneres sell their large ranch, last listed for $11.9M.
March 2007 - Mere months after selling their 120-acre ranch, the duo unload their version for $3.05M, flipping a $250K profit.
March 2007 - Degeneres also lists her Montecito grab for $24M—$8.25M more than she paid.
Nov. 2007 - Montecito property No. 1 sells for $20M, to Google exec, Eric Schmidt.
Dec. 2007 - The pair buy what may be their most tittered about purchase ever, a 9,200-square-foot Beverly Hills property that they took off the hands of Will & Grace co-creator Max Mutchnick, paying $29M for a spread designed by lauded 1960s firm Buff, Smith and Hensman.
Jan. 2008 - And so starts the landgrab: adjacent to their latest Bev Hills purchase, Degeneres buys a home for $8.5M, then immediately razes it to make room for a motor court and private park.
July 2008 - The pair continue their plot for world domination, buying a third hillside house in the area surrounding their $29M estate.
July 2008 - And a fourth. The total for these two midsummer buys? A reported $10.5M.
May 2009 - The duo buys a 26-acre spread in Thousand Oaks, Calif., dropping $8.5M on eight cottages. Ellen starts filling each with rustic antiques. "I thought it might take Ellen five years to finish," De Rossi later told ED, "and she did it in one."
April 2010 - In an abrupt departure from the eight-figure acquisitions, the pair pays $835K for a relatively ho-hum penthouse condo in Beverly Hills. The Real Estalker writes, "Your Mama don't know a contact lens from a donut but iffin we were the betting type, we'd put twenty on red number 27 that this condo [...] was purchased [...] [for] their domestic staff."
Feb. 2011 - Remember that four-property compound the pair spent some $48M cobbling together? They list it, asking "around $50M," though reports speculated asks up to $60M.
May 2011 - The 26-acre ranch blips onto the market asking twice what they paid in 2009.
Dec. 2011 - With two mansions in flux, what do Degeneres and De Rossi do? Buy another, of course. This one a high-set Malibu spread they bought for $12M from Brad Pitt. The place features spectacular Pacific views, plus a pool and a serious shag rug.
May 2012 - Ryan Seacrest buys the sprawling Beverly Hills compound (the one they made out of four properties that cost a combined $48M) for ... $39.5M. Oof!
May 2012 - The same month as their big sale, Degeneres and De Rossi buy a glassy midcentury spread designed in 1958 by L.A. modernist Hal Levitt. What's more, its gleamy interiors were once under the dominion of designer Kelly Wearstler, who unsurprisingly glammed up the place into oblivion. The price? $17.4M.
June 2012 - Just a half a year after buying Brad Pitt's Malibu house, Degeneres and De Rossi sell it for $13M, making a tidy $1M profit.
April 2013 - Elle Decor produces a full-throttle cover feature all about Ellen and Portia's 26-acre, eight-cottage Thousand Oaks ranch.
May 2013 - Degeneres and De Rossi drop $26.5M on a farmhouse-cum-villa in Montecito, a perfectly perfect 1920s stone mansion revamped by famed designer John Saladino.
June 2013 - The pair list the Bev Hills condo they bought for $835K for $899K.
July 2013 - The duo once again list their (now Elle Decor-pedigreed!) horse ranch for $11M.
Aug. 2013 - The condo sells for $843,900.
Sept. 2013 - After about six weeks (and two years) on the market, the 26-acre horse ranch sells for $10.85M—$2.35M more than they paid.
Dec. 2013 - A few months after being published in T, the Hal Levitt spread sells (allegedly to film producer Roger Birnbaum) for $21M.
Jan. 2014 - Degeneres makes her most recent purchase: a $40M 1949 estate called Brody House, dubbed by Curbed LA as "the best house in Los Angeles."
· All Ellen Degeneres coverage [Curbed National]