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There's a simple trick called the 'bar test' for deciding if someone is right for you — here's how it works

Lindsay Dodgson
woman bar

Max Pixel


  • Internet dating, too many choices, and bad luck all make finding the right person a challenge.
  • One way to tell if you're into someone or not is by trying out the "bar test."


Sometimes when you're with someone, you just know it's working. Other times, you might need a bit of encouragement to come to the right conclusion. After all, you don't to waste your time on someone who's wrong for you.

Finding a partner is even more complicated because of how prolific online dating has become. While it gives us the chance to meet a whole range of new people, it can also make us too picky, meaning ultimately we end up missing out on opportunities.

According to marriage counselor Robert Maurer, one way to cut to the chase on a first date is by asking your partner how they are still single. However, other dating experts completely disagree.

A potentially more fail safe method is the "bar test." It was coined by Erika Ettin, dating coach and founder of dating site "A Little Nudge," and it's a simple way to work out if your heart is really into it or not.

"As simple as this may seem, I call it the 'bar test' to know if you're with the right person," she told Business Insider. "When you're at a bar (or restaurant, wherever) with your new partner, are you looking around to see who else is out there or who might see you two together? Or, are you perfectly content with your partner, and you want everyone there to notice you with him/her?"

According to Ettin, if it's the latter, then they've passed the test. It works the other way around too — if you see your date looking around and assessing their options, that's probably a sign they're not that into you.

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