Always one for grandiloquent praise of all things grossly unnecessary and squeamishly expensive, The Robb Report has unleashed unto the world—just kidding, there's a pay wall—its 2013 holiday gift guide, an index marked by a 100-seat "backyard stadium" going for $30M, a $50M Trump SoHo New York penthouse, and—oh come on—a backyard treehouse asking $62M. Guys, that's $62 million for a treehouse. For perspective, that's the value of 194 average American homes—more than the cost of three Madonna mansions, pricier than two NYC mansions each boasting four kitchens and 30,000 square feet of outdoor space, and costlier than 14,000 acres of gorgeous-beyond-words California ranch land.
How could this possibly be real? Well, the 20,000-square-foot tree house does come with "zip lines, a pool, a lazy river, a helipad, a water-operated elevator, and more." What? Sorry, you can't just bust out "lazy river" and "water-operated elevator" and end with "and more." What more could there possibly be? A teleportation bay? A room made of candy? The Mirror of Erised? Three bathrooms? Probably.
Also on offer: an $83M "Sky Yacht" (private jet to all you hoi polloi), a regular yacht (↑), which asks $92M for a 2,300-square-foot sundeck and glass-bottom pool, and a collection of Hervé Van der Straeten furniture, which is a comparable bargain for $460K. Now about that stadium (↓): per press materials, it's a "high-tech multisport stadium from Populous—the firm behind the new Yankee Stadium and London's Olympic Stadium—[that] will make any backyard scrimmage an epic event," with "wraparound video screens that can create a backdrop depicting almost any professional-league sports stadium." OK let's just go out and say it. Neiman Marcus gift guide: you've met your match.