Yahoo Finance 6 Ways to Repair Your Relationship With Your Boss
We've all been in a situation at work when we feel our boss is the enemy. It can feel like a losing proposition to try and fix the situation, and often the only solution seems to jump ship. But before you give up, learn how you can be courageous and turn the situation with your boss around.
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In an interview about her book, "The Courage Solution: The Power of Truth Telling with Your Boss, Peers, and Team," Mindy Mackenzie provides actionable advice on how to help you lead your boss by changing the dynamics of the relationship. Mackenzie's experience in corporate executive roles provides powerful lessons to transform your relationship with your boss.
Take ownership. If you don't like the way things are going at work, or want something better, it is up to you. Develop a mantra for personal accountability and empowerment: "I'm creating the reality I'm expecting at work." Mackenzie reminds us that "the only thing you can reliably change or control is yourself." Take a long hard look at what's not working and what you need to do to fix it.
Get in sync with your boss. How well do you understand your boss? When are the optimal times to meet with them? Ask your boss how they like to work and ask for the name of an employee they work well with. Go and meet with that employee to learn about the communication style they use, how they time important conversations, what degree of initiative they take and other nuances of the relationship with your shared boss. You want a healthy relationship with your boss and you can help make this happen by investing time learning how they are wired.
[See: 6 Kinds of Annoying Co-Workers and How to Deal With Them.]
Ask this question. One of the best questions you can ask your boss, says Mackenzie, is "What is your single greatest priority this week?" Asking this shows your concern for meeting objectives. Remember, as an employee, you are there to create value. Listening to how your boss answers this question will help you prioritize your work and give you the opportunity to offer suggestions. Your boss will be more inclined to support you if you have helped and supported them.
Don't be judgmental. Your boss has many different priorities and responsibilities at work. They are human beings, just like you, and have good and bad days. Step back when you are having difficulty with your boss, recommends Mackenzie, and try to have empathy for their situation.
Address conflict. The trick to addressing conflict with your boss is to communicate your concern in a non-confrontational way. Mackenzie suggests using the acronym LCS to guide those difficult conversations with your boss. First, like something your boss has said. Find a positive point. Next, share your concern. Finally, provide your suggestion. Avoid using the word "but" in your conversation because people tend to ignore anything that you say after the word. Practice what you want to say out loud and always maintain a calm demeanor.
[See: 12 Steps to Asking for a Raise -- and Getting It.]
Start behaving differently. While it is best to start a healthy relationship with your boss from the beginning, it is possible to turn things around even after you've worked with them for awhile. Things won't change overnight. You have to work at building the new relationship. Mackenzie says it's possible if you start by asking your boss that important question, "What is your single greatest priority this week?" Instead of focusing on how unhappy, dissatisfied or stifled you feel, look for solutions to your boss's problems. Let your actions speak louder than your words.
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