The high cost of attending a wedding

Jennifer Mah has vivid memories of a friend’s wedding from many years ago—not because she had the time of her life on the dance floor but because the event nearly drained her bank account.

Then living in Edmonton, Mah had to travel to Vancouver for the wedding. She had to take time off work from her part-time job as a waiter, which meant giving up earnings. There was the cost of a hotel room and of course the need for a wedding present. Then there was the girls’ dinner out two nights before the big event.

“I was putting myself through school and spent a fortune to be at her wedding,” Mah says. “I couldn’t believe it when I added it all up.”

As Mah knows first-hand, the bride and groom aren’t the only ones who have to fork out big bucks for the big day. According to new data from American Express, the average cost of attending a wedding this year will come to a whopping $539. That’s up nearly 60 per cent from 2012, thanks to rising costs of gas and hotels.

Guests spend, on average, $144 on a wedding gift for a family member and $97 for a friend. (Those considered “affluent”, meanwhile, spend an average of $250 on wedding presents across the board.)

Then there’s the bill for clothes, jewellery, and accessories (an average of $160 per guest), hotel ($95), and transportation ($72). Thirty-two per cent of guests give cash as wedding gift (a present that’s coveted by 52 per cent of happy couples).

If, like 30 per cent of the adult population, you plan on attending more than one wedding this season, you’ll want to start thinking now about how to keep your costs down.

The way to do that, according to Cassie Howard, founder of the frugal-living blog MrsJanuary.com and self-described “extreme couponer”, is to start your shopping list with a reality check.

“You should give only what you are financially able to give, and that's it” Howard says. “Don't feel one bit guilty about it. The bride and groom will be happy that you were there to help them celebrate their big day. They don't care about how much money you give them as a gift, and if they do, you should reconsider going to their wedding at all.”

DIY gifts

You don’t have to oblige by the registry and buy a single Denby dinner plate for $100. You can do your own thing, and don’t worry if you’re not the crafty, creative type.

“There are many ways to save on wedding gifts, such as making your own gift basket with sale items you think the couple would like and framed photographs of the couple when they were dating,” Howard suggests.

Smart gifts

Say the wedded couple wants a big-ticket item or two. Team up with friends to go in on such gifts together.

Look into rewards that come with certain credit cards. Often the points you’ve accumulated can be redeemed for products that might be better given as a gift than added to your own home inventory. They can also sometimes be redeemed for gift cards.

Remember that you don’t need to bring a gift the day of the nuptials. You’ve got up to a year, so you have the luxury of time to wait for something you’ve been eyeing to go on sale.

Other ways to save

You don’t need to buy a new outfit, even if the bride and groom or some of your friends have seen it before. If Kate Middleton can wear a dress more than once, so can you. You could also borrow from a friend or even organize a clothing swap well in advance.

When it comes to travel, consider options like taking a red-eye flight home (not the best for your energy level, but good for your wallet). And be sure to look into the cost of checked baggage; you may want to stick with carry-on. If you’re just staying in town for a night or two, look for a budget-conscious hotel over the five-star one the bride’s family might be staying at, and look into discount websites like Hotwire.

For future weddings, keep your eye open throughout the year for items that would make good gifts and buy them when they’re on sale. You don’t want to shop in a panic.

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